Growing Up In a Musical Family

wp-1479340251848.jpgPhoto By Tyler Lambert

When I was a kid, we didn’t watch much television.  My parents didn’t own a color TV until I was grown and gone.  On a regular basis, we would spend evenings playing music and singing.  My Father played the guitar.  Mom has many musical talents.  She would play the piano, and sometimes pick the banjo.  She plays the bagpipes too, by the way, but usually not in the living room.  My sisters and I would sing along, and we worked our way through the big Alan Lomax songbook.

If you don’t know, Alan Lomax is famous for collecting songs from all over the United States.  Most people credit him for introducing millions of people to American Folk Music.  This type of music is the foundation for my love of music.  Like children do, I took this blessing for granted.  It wasn’t until I was much older that I grew to appreciate these evenings gone past.  I didn’t know that in some families, they didn’t get together in the evening to make a joyful noise.

As I became a teenager, I turned to rock and roll, and expanded my journeys into musical landscapes.  As a young adult, I liked all kinds of music.  I went to live concerts with my parents, and then my friends.  I started my own family when I was quite young, and had four kids in short order.

As a young mother, I often doubted that I was doing everything the way I should. One thing I know I got right as I worked through the days bringing up those sweet babies.  They had a soundtrack!  Through the years, I made sure that we listened to all kinds of music.  I shared and recounted the old songs, like most parents do.  But I’ve never been afraid of discovering new music and moving with the times.

We listened to music at home and in the car.  As soon as they were old enough, maybe sooner, I would take them to see live music whenever I could. Now, we share musical discoveries with each other.  We still see and appreciate live concerts.

 Before long, they were each moving to their own rhythm, so to speak.  My oldest son, Thom, is a fantastic drummer.  He always amazed me with his ability to pick up different drumming styles within a minute or two.  My second son, Travis, plays guitar and sings, the same way I did growing up.  I’m always impressed with the way he sounds, whether he’s playing electric or acoustic.  My youngest son, Tyler, is a beast on the bass.  He’s a versatile bassist, and has a love for writing music as well.  I don’t get to hear any of them play as much as I would like to.  They have discovered that when you have to adult, you don’t get as much practice time in. 

My daughter, Catie,  is a huge fan of music, like me.  Her ears devour every new sound, every old familiar tune, and she sings to her son.  My grandchildren are the next generation of music lovers.  One of the best feelings in the world is when I sing to my grandson Carl, and when I’m done, he looks at me and says “again”.

When my Grandmother died, they buried her with her harmonica.  She started playing that when she wasn’t able to play the piano any more.  I love my musical past, and my musical future.  I’m so grateful that my parents took the time to teach me to appreciate a good song.  I’m also blessed when I hear my kids sing it back to me.

– Cat

I’m My Mom. By the Way, My Daughter is Me.

So, the audiologist looks at me and says “You have mild to moderate hearing loss”.  It sunk in.  I remember when my Mom started losing her hearing.  I would get so annoyed when she would ask me multiple times to repeat myself.  Sometimes she would answer the question she thought you asked.  Never mind the actual question.  My Granny, Mom’s  Mom, was deaf at the end of her long life too.

I’m older now.  I am becoming my Mother.

In so many ways, I’m lucky to be like her.  She always says hello and starts a conversation with strangers.  She likes to help.  She’s quick-witted.  She has a weird sense of humor.  She has the Scrabble gene that runs strong in our family. She loves music.  She doesn’t watch sports.  She loves to hear and tell stories.  I’m so lucky to have her.

I have a daughter now.  She is the very best parts of me and her father all mushed together.  Although we’ve always been friends, I always admired her because she was different than me.  She never went through that bitchy teenage phase. I did.  She always seemed very quiet and private to me.  She is an artist.  She used to be embarrassed when I talked to strangers.  She always seemed wise beyond her years, and sometimes I wasn’t sure who was raising who.  She’s all grown up now, married, and has a son.  I love him to pieces.

We share a lot of things.  She calls me nearly every morning and we talk about EVERYTHING.  We both love music, even though we’re not musicians. We share and build playlists together. All her brothers are musicians. She and I are fans.   She encourages me, and I return that encouragement.  She talks to strangers more than she used to.  We play a game of Scrabble now and then.  She’s good at it.  She has a weird sense of humor. She loves to help, and teaching is her passion. I’m so lucky to have her.

My daughter is becoming me.  Still different in so many ways, but I’m starting to notice the similarities more. She’s older now.

She’s having a baby in June.  I hope it’s a girl.

 

  •  Cat

 

Parenting. Just do your best.

My daughter made an observation in her Facebook post today that rang true.  Parenting is hard.  A lot of parents have a hard time deciding when they are being too strict, too lenient, too smothering, or not supportive enough.  The list goes on and on.  Here’s the thing; if you don’t have confidence in what you’re doing… you’re sunk!

When I expecting my first child, I read a line from a poem about parenthood (can’t locate the source) that ended with the line “With the pitter patter of tiny feet, come a hundred thousand words to eat.”  Which is to say, the idea of being a parent is so different from the reality of being a parent.  When you’re in the planning stages, you have an idea in your mind about the common mistakes you see parents around you making, and you think that you’ve got every strategic advantage and know just the right way to handle things.

Turns out you don’t know too much about anything once you add a child into the mix.  The thing we all take for granted is our ability to control things.  A baby becomes a child, and then a… well, a person.   With their own thoughts and opinions.  Every age has its surprises that you feel woefully unprepared for.  Things will occasionally come out of left field, catching you totally unaware.

Despite the challenges, my experience with motherhood has brought a lot of joy to me over the years.  I always say that you don’t really reach the total highs and lows of life until you get the chance to raise a child.  In conclusion, when you think about it, we all know “bad” kids from “good” homes.  We also know “good” kids that have overcome “bad” homes.  Just do your best.  Give your heart and your head equal time when making decisions.  Be content to get through the adventure in one piece!

-Cat