grandchildren

Don’t Pray For Patience

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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We are babysitting our three granddaughters this weekend.  We volunteered for the job, since our daughter in law is recovering from surgery.  These girls are magical, and a joy to spend time with.  The youngest, Sawyer, turned a year old a couple of months ago. The oldest, Pepper, just turned six.  The middle child, Amelia, is… well, I guess we’ll say “strong-willed”.  Her parents will not be offended by my remarks.  They know about it already.  It reminds me of the old adage:

Don’t pray for patience.  If you do, God will send you a situation that requires it.  

We are empty nesters, and close to retirement.  It is obvious to us at times like these that people are meant to have children when they are young.  It is exhausting!  But being a grandparent is so much more fun than being a parent.  I had four children in five years.  That was a lot of work, too.  But I was in my early twenties when I started on the project.  Although my marriage didn’t go the distance, those kids sure did.

My kids used to ask me when they were little, “How come grandmothers are so nice, and you are so mean?”  I told them that “a grandmother only has one job, which is to love you”.  Parents have to make sure that you’re healthy, clean, well-behaved, successful, educated, and happy.  Babysitting grandchildren is something you can do on a part-time basis.  Parenting is an intense, day by day experience.  You don’t get many breaks, and when you do, you don’t know how to act.

I watched over one of my grandsons, Carl, for a longer stretch than usual this past Summer.  My daughter had a hard time accepting that he had Cocoa Puffs for his lunch one day.  She had expected him to have chicken and broccoli.  I just let him have what he asked for.  It’s not like he’s allergic to Cocoa Puffs.  At the end of our week-long adventure, my daughter made the observation that I wasn’t a rule maker.  I’m not… I’m a grandmother!

My oldest grandchild, Felix, told me a few months ago that I had the least amount of “swag” out of everyone in our whole family.  When he has more than a dozen grandparents, that puts you pretty low on the swag chart.  It’s okay. I know I’m cool. It does make me try harder, though.  That’s why I own stock in the PEZ company.  Amelia asked me today, “do you have one of those plastic things with the candy in it?”  I’m famous for having PEZ on hand, but got caught short on dispensers today.

Oscar will be three in May.  He’s my mini me, blonde hair and blue eyes.  The last time he saw me he said “Gigi, I missed you so much”.  His Mom said he told Santa that too.  I hope he doesn’t tell everyone that, because I felt really special in that moment.

-Cat

 

Some College

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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I started college early.  I was just sixteen at the time.  I graduated high school early, skipping my senior year. In my junior year of high school, I was enrolled in high school and college concurrently.

Then, I had a fight with my father.  I dropped out of college, and moved out of the house at seventeen.  I was determined to make a go of it, and worked full time.  I was fiercely independent, but I knew I had made the wrong decision about college.  So, I took college courses in the evening.  That was difficult to do, and after a while it took a toll on me.

Once I married at eighteen and had a child, I tried to go back and get my degree.  I went to school three full days a week, with a great granny watching my son, Thom.  I had an 8:00 am political science class, which I approached with great enthusiasm.  Then… two things started happening during the 8:00 am class:  I would fall asleep or throw up.  You guessed it, blessed with a second baby.

I took that as a sign from God that I should finish up my degree “later.” Two more kids later, college was no longer featuring in my dreams, let alone my life.  I wasn’t sad about it.  I was busy, with my hands full, and my heart full as well.  I would take a class now and then.

A few years ago, I was in a meeting at work.  I had a chance for an advancement program, and was nominated in front of a bunch of coworkers.  It was a great opportunity.   But I had to say, in front of everybody, that I didn’t have the required college degree.  I made the decision then to give college another try.  Enrolling in an online university, I was an exuberant scholar.  I got perfect marks in everything I did.

Then the day came.  I got some points taken off on a paper that I had written.  I was extremely mad about it.  My husband explained that it was actually okay that it happened, and it was good for me.  I let that sink in, and realized that he was right.  I took a break from school at the end of the semester, though.  We were moving to a new area after twenty years in our house.  This demanded more time and energy than I could devote while studying.

So, it’s still left undone. I’m a grandmother now, and I work full time, and I can’t say with certainty that I’ll ever finish.  Maybe when I retire.  When my daughter, Catie, was in college, she told me she was going to take a semester off.  I told her that she wasn’t.  We both felt like I was being too pushy at the time, but we’re both glad now that she has her master’s degree.  My father is in his eighties and still takes college courses, if they interest him.

Some college.  Well, that could mean anything.  It could mean two classes.  It could mean almost there.  Almost every job you apply for now states that a college degree is required, or at least preferred.  Since employers have you apply online, gone is the chance to dazzle with a first impression. You can’t show them your sense of style.  You don’t get to brag about all the things you can do.  You can’t wow them with your work ethic.  You never get to give them a firm handshake  and a confident smile.

Most days I don’t think about it.  Other days, I have to help the person that has a degree, and got the opportunity, to prepare their final presentation in the program.  I don’t believe that you must have a college degree to be successful or happy in life.  But I do believe that you limit your choices without one.  So, if you’re in school, stay in school until you’re done.  If you’ve got your degree, you have that accomplishment to be proud of, and I admire you for it!

I lead a happy life.  I have a big family, with four children, two stepchildren, six grandkids, with one more on the way!  They bring me so much joy!  I have found meaningful work to do, and love making a difference everyday.  My husband and I get along great and enjoy each other’s company.  We have a lovely home, and great neighbors.  I’ve still got both my parents.  Most days “some college” is just not that bad.

 – Cat

Growing Up In a Musical Family

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

wp-1479340251848.jpgPhoto By Tyler Lambert

When I was a kid, we didn’t watch much television.  My parents didn’t own a color TV until I was grown and gone.  On a regular basis, we would spend evenings playing music and singing.  My Father played the guitar.  Mom has many musical talents.  She would play the piano, and sometimes pick the banjo.  She plays the bagpipes too, by the way, but usually not in the living room.  My sisters and I would sing along, and we worked our way through the big Alan Lomax songbook.

If you don’t know, Alan Lomax is famous for collecting songs from all over the United States.  Most people credit him for introducing millions of people to American Folk Music.  This type of music is the foundation for my love of music.  Like children do, I took this blessing for granted.  It wasn’t until I was much older that I grew to appreciate these evenings gone past.  I didn’t know that in some families, they didn’t get together in the evening to make a joyful noise.

As I became a teenager, I turned to rock and roll, and expanded my journeys into musical landscapes.  As a young adult, I liked all kinds of music.  I went to live concerts with my parents, and then my friends.  I started my own family when I was quite young, and had four kids in short order.

As a young mother, I often doubted that I was doing everything the way I should. One thing I know I got right as I worked through the days bringing up those sweet babies.  They had a soundtrack!  Through the years, I made sure that we listened to all kinds of music.  I shared and recounted the old songs, like most parents do.  But I’ve never been afraid of discovering new music and moving with the times.

We listened to music at home and in the car.  As soon as they were old enough, maybe sooner, I would take them to see live music whenever I could. Now, we share musical discoveries with each other.  We still see and appreciate live concerts.

 Before long, they were each moving to their own rhythm, so to speak.  My oldest son, Thom, is a fantastic drummer.  He always amazed me with his ability to pick up different drumming styles within a minute or two.  My second son, Travis, plays guitar and sings, the same way I did growing up.  I’m always impressed with the way he sounds, whether he’s playing electric or acoustic.  My youngest son, Tyler, is a beast on the bass.  He’s a versatile bassist, and has a love for writing music as well.  I don’t get to hear any of them play as much as I would like to.  They have discovered that when you have to adult, you don’t get as much practice time in. 

My daughter, Catie,  is a huge fan of music, like me.  Her ears devour every new sound, every old familiar tune, and she sings to her son.  My grandchildren are the next generation of music lovers.  One of the best feelings in the world is when I sing to my grandson Carl, and when I’m done, he looks at me and says “again”.

When my Grandmother died, they buried her with her harmonica.  She started playing that when she wasn’t able to play the piano any more.  I love my musical past, and my musical future.  I’m so grateful that my parents took the time to teach me to appreciate a good song.  I’m also blessed when I hear my kids sing it back to me.

– Cat