sports

My Favorite Football Team

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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So… here it comes!  It’s that time of year again.  Let’s be distracted from politics for a few minutes.  Let’s talk non stop about the teams, the halftime show, the commercials, and all of the other hoopla surrounding – THE  SUPER BOWL!

This is actually a lonely two weeks for me.  I have nothing relevant to talk about.  Last year around this time, my coworker, Nate, asked me who I liked in the Superbowl.  I told him that I didn’t care.  He then asked me who my favorite football team was.  I told him that my favorite football team was “Art and Music”. He seemed puzzled by that.  When I went on to explain that I preferred art and music to football, he looked even more perplexed.  I told him that I wasn’t into sports.

My first husband loved watching sports on TV.  I wanted to like it.  I tried to like it.  I pretended to want to try to like it.  It didn’t work out for me.  When I left him, he told me how great it was to be able to stay up all night and watch the game.  He didn’t have to worry about ruining someone’s night, making someone cry or be angry.  I told him that was okay.  I didn’t have to listen to it, watch it, or have it wreck my plans, or waste my time.  In other words… it worked out for both of us!

I hit the jackpot in my current match!  His favorite football team?  You guessed it… art and music.  What a world of difference!  We never talk about sports, we don’t watch sports, and we don’t plan our life around sports.  He will sometimes watch golf if we’re home and it’s on.  I’m okay with that… it doesn’t make much noise.  True fact – before I wrote this post, I asked him “Hey, the Superbowl is this Sunday, right?”  He responded by saying “How should I know?”  I Googled it.  It’s this Sunday.

Is it in our genes to watch sports?  I never watched sports growing up.  My Dad’s trophies are more for the chess team and debate team.  I grew up with two sisters.  None of us played sports.  My family encouraged my love of art and music.  It wasn’t until I started dating my first husband that I learned about TV trays for Thanksgiving.  I have four grown kids.  My oldest loves his football.  My second son isn’t really into it. My third son hates sports.  My daughter can take it or leave it. 

I made all my kids play sports when they were growing up.  I see the value in it, and wonder if I would have been better off for playing when I was young.  By the way, I loved watching my kids play.  My boys were all pretty athletic.  My daughter was the first girl to complete a season of football with the Boys and Girls Club in our area. Other girls had come out in August to practice, but had not played once the season started.  I remember the first play of the first game Catie was in.  She got knocked about ten feet out of her cleats, and landed squarely on the ground.  After that, she developed tenacity and coping strategies, and didn’t fall for that again.

I love to go to a live sporting event.  There’s so much to see, and it’s all happening at once!  I just don’t want to devote the time it takes to follow it on TV.  I get it, I’m just not into it.

I hope your team wins this weekend.  I know mine will!

– Cat

 

Participation Trophies

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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Things have changed in a lot of ways since I was a kid.  I’m not athletic.  I was always the last person picked for a team when we played kickball in gym class.  In high school, I managed to duck gym class altogether.  They required one credit, or two semesters, to get your high school diploma.  Because I was graduating early, I took a health class and a psychology class my junior year, and they counted it for gym.  Whew!  That was a close one!

I wanted my kids to take part in sports.  I thought is was important to have all the experiences that went along with competition. I wanted them all to feel comfortable, at ease with winning, losing, and participating.

These days, participation trophies are big.  They don’t even keep score during the games any more.  I’m not a big fan of Woody Allen, who says “eighty percent of life is showing up.” I am a big fan of Yoda, who says “Do or do not.  There is no try.”  That’s harsh, Yoda.  Which camp are you in?

I think I’m somewhere in the middle here.  As traumatic as my sports career was, I do see the value in athletic competition.  In the traditional sense, I think that learning to lose important.  Learning to win graciously is also critical to success in life.  Participation trophies tend to take away both of those lessons.

If Mom or Dad pay the participation fees, you get a trophy.  It doesn’t matter if you try your best.  If you’re not keeping score, you wouldn’t even know if you won or lost.   If you don’t want to expose your kid to the lessons learned from competition, there are other options.  Teach them about stamp collecting. Pique their interest in astronomy.  Introduce them to meditation, or help them learn another language.  Don’t sign them up to play competitive sports and then insist that they earn a trophy just for being there.

In life, things don’t always go your way.  In fact, they don’t even often go your way.  If you reach adulthood without learning to deal with that, you’re in for a real slap in the face.  When life comes right at you, like it will, you want to have some inkling of how to handle that disappointment.  When you’ve made a mistake, or missed the mark, you need to know how to recognize that.  You need to learn to shake the hand of someone on the “other team.” When you’ve played hard and won, you know you’re at the top of your game. You need to stay humble, and let other people sing your praises.

– Cat