Parenting. Just do your best.

My daughter made an observation in her Facebook post today that rang true.  Parenting is hard.  A lot of parents have a hard time deciding when they are being too strict, too lenient, too smothering, or not supportive enough.  The list goes on and on.  Here’s the thing; if you don’t have confidence in what you’re doing… you’re sunk!

When I expecting my first child, I read a line from a poem about parenthood (can’t locate the source) that ended with the line “With the pitter patter of tiny feet, come a hundred thousand words to eat.”  Which is to say, the idea of being a parent is so different from the reality of being a parent.  When you’re in the planning stages, you have an idea in your mind about the common mistakes you see parents around you making, and you think that you’ve got every strategic advantage and know just the right way to handle things.

Turns out you don’t know too much about anything once you add a child into the mix.  The thing we all take for granted is our ability to control things.  A baby becomes a child, and then a… well, a person.   With their own thoughts and opinions.  Every age has its surprises that you feel woefully unprepared for.  Things will occasionally come out of left field, catching you totally unaware.

Despite the challenges, my experience with motherhood has brought a lot of joy to me over the years.  I always say that you don’t really reach the total highs and lows of life until you get the chance to raise a child.  In conclusion, when you think about it, we all know “bad” kids from “good” homes.  We also know “good” kids that have overcome “bad” homes.  Just do your best.  Give your heart and your head equal time when making decisions.  Be content to get through the adventure in one piece!

-Cat

Reinventing Ourselves

I once had a friend that was a widow with two daughters, two stepdaughters, and a strong resolve not to get entangled in any romantic situations. She was “pretty plus” like myself.  She had a beautiful smile and was fun to be with.   She moved away, her daughters and stepdaughters grew up, and we fell out of touch.

I ran into a mutual friend of ours, who told me that the last time they saw her, she was wearing a size 1, and had gone off to live on an island with someone named Ben.  It amazes me to think that she had a whole other life to live.  It never occurred to me that she could be completely different from the person that  I knew all that time.

Motivational speakers will insist that you can steer the course of your life, and begin anew with the promise of each day.  I have heard Deepak Chopra assert that you can actually change the past through meditation and determination. These ideas seem fantastic, when most of us feel stuck in the proverbial rut.

So, without launching a discussion on quantum physics (we will save that for another time) Do we actually have the ability to reinvent ourselves?

-Cat