Self-Esteem – Where Can I Get It?


There is so much talk these days about self-esteem.

Sometimes people hold others accountable for damage… or even possible damage, to their self-esteem.  We often feel that high self esteem is something that we’re all entitled to.  Some folks think that everything hinges on it.  Others downplay it’s importance.  It’s definitely become a catch phrase.

I can hold you in high esteem, but I can’t hold you in high self-esteem. Self- esteem comes from within the self, not from external sources.  It is how you view yourself, take pride in yourself, and is often reflected in the way you care for yourself.

How can you make an impact on the way you view yourself?  What you do, and what you say to yourself, should be your concentration. Here’s how you can do you… and increase your self-esteem while you’re at it.

Find Some Work Worth Doing

When you spend your time contributing to society, you will feel your self-esteem blossom and grow.  This is usually done through your work, which is where you spend most of your waking hours.  Unemployed? Use this time to learn a new skill, do some self-reflection, and make good use of your time out.  Can you volunteer? Do something that interests you.

Be Helpful

Just pitch in.  Get started.  We all have talents that we fail to use to their potential.  If nothing else, we all need encouragement.  Ask yourself “who can I encourage today?”.  A smile goes a long way.  Make it your goal to give smiles away and collect them in equal measure.

Forgive Yourself

Are you experiencing depression, financial trouble, or relationship problems?  It’s easy to blame yourself.  Start today to forgive yourself.  “Why can’t I feel better?”, “Why am I so bad with money?”, “Why can’t I make my partner happy?”.  Feeling guilty and beating yourself up never works as a strategy for coping.

Talk to Yourself

You can run a negative talk track with yourself, or a positive one.  You have total control over what you tell yourself.  Even if you have to “fake it until you make it”, you have got to nourish yourself with kind words. No matter what your issues are, you just can’t afford the luxury of talking down to yourself.

Have an Open Heart

What do I mean by that?  I mean that you approach everyone you meet with an open heart.  Be willing to be present in every interaction.  Don’t downplay the importance of connecting.   Listen and reflect on the conversations you have with others. Every path you cross is an opportunity for you to make a connection outside of yourself.

So, to wrap it up, how you choose to spend your time and resources can bring you the biggest sense of pride in yourself.  Don’t wait for others to serve you up a heaping dish of self-esteem.  No matter the circumstances, your self esteem is yours to claim!

    – Cat

Bombing Our Way Into Peace

Veteran’s Day is almost over.  I’m thankful for every person that’s ever worked to defend our country.  I’m thinking about this:

I wonder if most people make up their mind to be “for” or “against” war.   I think it really depends on the situation.  I think it’s unrealistic to think that we can put an end to war.  It seems we’ve been beating each other up over the ages, probably before we could walk upright!

When Albert Einstein wrote to President Roosevelt, he tried to persuade him that the atomic bomb should be built.  He later said that he regretted his decision to make the appeal.  At the time, he was afraid that Germany would develop nuclear capability.  Although Einstein wasn’t directly responsible for building the bomb, it was his work that made it possible.  And there is the letter.

Although most people are horrified at the thought of nuclear weapons, there are differing opinions on whether it was the right thing to do to end World War II.  There is the argument that by bombing Hiroshima and wiping out half its population, around 180,000 people, we prevented many more American casualties, possibly in the millions.  We shortened the war.  We ended the discussion.  This also ended Russian aggression in the area, for a time.

On the other side of the argument, there are those that say that the war would not have gone on for much longer anyway.  We had the upper hand, and were winning the battle.    We went way too far and took too many innocent lives when we dropped the bomb.

The thing that makes me suspicious is the timing.  We bombed Hiroshima on August 6th, and then bombed Nagasaki  three days later on August 9th.  Didn’t the bombing of Hiroshima send a direct enough message to Japan?  Did we wait long enough to see what the response would be?

As I was looking into this question, it appears as though I had it backwards.  I seems that actually, we didn’t continue on to Nagasaki.  We stopped at Nagasaki.  We were prepared to keep going.

Can we actually bomb our way into peace?  Can we fight one last fight that settles things? We could start a group of representatives from countries all over the world and work together for the common good of humankind.  We could call it the United Nati…nevermind, that will never work.

I’m grateful for the sacrifices that veterans, and especially their families, have made for me, my family, and my nation.  Thank you for your service!

  • Cat



Parenting. Just do your best.

My daughter made an observation in her Facebook post today that rang true.  Parenting is hard.  A lot of parents have a hard time deciding when they are being too strict, too lenient, too smothering, or not supportive enough.  The list goes on and on.  Here’s the thing; if you don’t have confidence in what you’re doing… you’re sunk!

When I expecting my first child, I read a line from a poem about parenthood (can’t locate the source) that ended with the line “With the pitter patter of tiny feet, come a hundred thousand words to eat.”  Which is to say, the idea of being a parent is so different from the reality of being a parent.  When you’re in the planning stages, you have an idea in your mind about the common mistakes you see parents around you making, and you think that you’ve got every strategic advantage and know just the right way to handle things.

Turns out you don’t know too much about anything once you add a child into the mix.  The thing we all take for granted is our ability to control things.  A baby becomes a child, and then a… well, a person.   With their own thoughts and opinions.  Every age has its surprises that you feel woefully unprepared for.  Things will occasionally come out of left field, catching you totally unaware.

Despite the challenges, my experience with motherhood has brought a lot of joy to me over the years.  I always say that you don’t really reach the total highs and lows of life until you get the chance to raise a child.  In conclusion, when you think about it, we all know “bad” kids from “good” homes.  We also know “good” kids that have overcome “bad” homes.  Just do your best.  Give your heart and your head equal time when making decisions.  Be content to get through the adventure in one piece!


Reinventing Ourselves

I once had a friend that was a widow with two daughters, two stepdaughters, and a strong resolve not to get entangled in any romantic situations. She was “pretty plus” like myself.  She had a beautiful smile and was fun to be with.   She moved away, her daughters and stepdaughters grew up, and we fell out of touch.

I ran into a mutual friend of ours, who told me that the last time they saw her, she was wearing a size 1, and had gone off to live on an island with someone named Ben.  It amazes me to think that she had a whole other life to live.  It never occurred to me that she could be completely different from the person that  I knew all that time.

Motivational speakers will insist that you can steer the course of your life, and begin anew with the promise of each day.  I have heard Deepak Chopra assert that you can actually change the past through meditation and determination. These ideas seem fantastic, when most of us feel stuck in the proverbial rut.

So, without launching a discussion on quantum physics (we will save that for another time) Do we actually have the ability to reinvent ourselves?