Points to Ponder

I Wish I Liked Wine

/ Cat Harvey / 1 Comment

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Wine seems like so much fun.   There are a lot of things to do if you like wine.  You can go to wine tastings, vineyard tours, and wine bars.  You can celebrate Wine Wednesday. You can go to sip and paint.  You can even go to “Wine in the Woods,” which sounds pretty magical. You can take classes on wine.  You might want to buy a special “Wine Fridge.” You can “LIKE” all the cool and funny wine memes and relate to their message. It looks like so much fun!

I’m just not that into it.  It seems that all the wine I’ve tried is either to dry, or too sweet.  I’ll just stick to water.  When I make a toast with someone, they have wine and I have water.  It’s still a toast, just not as cool.  My wine sobriety does make it easier for others.  I’m permanent designated driver.  That’s a bonus for whomever is with me!

One memory that I have is of an outing in the Shenandoah mountains.  We did a tour of several wineries. On this trip, Iain and I traveled with his Dad, David,  and my daughter, Catie.  It was a beautiful day, and I remember the wonderful time we had eating a nice meal at an inn.  It was one of those days where you don’t have an agenda.  Nothing to do and no place to be.  When I think back to that day, I can still feel the sun on my face!

That’s the way I think of wine.  A small gathering of friends or family. Having great conversation and drinking great wine.  When you look at social media, there are so many postings from wine drinkers.  The memes about people drinking wine, or talking about drinking wine are prolific and sometimes hilarious.   Wine has a fun, romantic reputation.  I’m not in this exclusive club and I feel like I’m missing out.

I like grapes, but not raisins and not wine.   This is a first world problem, I know.  I’m just wondering if there are other people who feel the same way about wine?

  • Cat

Intelligent Design

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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Here’s another box to put people and their ideas in… as if we didn’t have enough labels yet.  For a while it was Darwinism vs. creationism.  For those of you that like a third party, please celebrate intelligent design! It combines the thoughts of scientists, philosophers, and scholars.

Is it creationism light?  Is it a compromise between science and religion? Is it a bunch of baloney?  When you research the topic, the answer seems to depend on the advocate.

People who lean towards science dismiss it as nonsense.  They feel that it’s just religion trying to repackage creationism, so that it’s more palatable. Intelligent design is not real science, they say.

Other people are skeptical that this world, and it’s inhabitants, are the result of a random, unplanned chain of events.

If you think about, all these theories seem pretty ludicrous.  In creationism, you have God, who speaks the world, and everything in it into existence.  He does all this in seven days.  Hmmm… it’s hard to take that in the literal sense.  Then we have evolution, where there’s the big bang.  All life begins randomly from a single celled organism. Humans, and everything else, evolve through mutation.  That sounds a little far fetched as well.  Intelligent design concedes that we have evolved, but according to design, implicating a designer. Sounds like a compromise to me.  But, if you don’t believe in a designer, that’s not going to work for you, is it?

This is a simplistic discussion of complicated theology and science.  I know that.  The point is, views on religion change, and ideas in science evolve.  They are all theories.  Intelligent design seems to be a good option, instead of choosing from two sides.  My grandson, Felix, says “I believe in God and evolution”.  Voila!  Intelligent design!

When it comes down to it, people are different, and we all have a variety of views on many topics.  How do you weigh in on this?

 – Cat

Happiness Now

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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How many times have you looked up to someone and thought “If I had their life, I would be happy”?  It’s natural… the whole “grass is greener” thing.

When I was a teenager, I was always envious of my best friend, who was so tiny and petite.  Years later, I confessed to her that I was jealous of her slight frame, and her ability to wear cute summer shirts. You well endowed women know what I’m talking about.  At the moment of my disclosure, she said “You’ve got to be kidding!”  She continued “I always felt like a boy next to you; I was so jealous of your curves!”  Sometimes you need to get a reality check and look at things from someone else’s perspective.

We rely on material things to make us happy.  Sometimes you want a nice car, a big house… maybe a boat, or a $3000 designer bag, or the latest Jordans.  You catch yourself thinking “When I get that extra special thing, I will be happy.”  And then, finally, you get that thing, that magical unicorn you’ve been dreaming of.  As it turns out, the struggle for acquisition was the best part.  Once your quest is over, you come face to face with the truth.  You’re still the same person, you just have a new possession. 

If you’re thinking you need to get another job, or live somewhere else to be happy, chances are you’re wrong about that, too.  You’ll be the same person, but with another job, or in another locale.  Quite often, we think “If only I could make a fresh start”.  You can make a fresh start, alright.  But not through external gratification.

Start from where you are, right here and right now.  Cultivate happiness within you that has nothing to do with your looks, your money, or your job.  All the stuff you have, and don’t have, doesn’t matter a bit.  You can add those things into the mix, but if you’re not happy now, those things won’t change you.

How many famous people kill themselves with a self-destructive lifestyle?  They’ve got money, fame, and everything that those things can bring.  Is that enough to sustain a person?  Nope.  I love the quote from Henry Ford when someone asked him how much money does it take to make a man happy.  His response:  “A little bit more”.  In the end, we all end up the same situation.

It’s good to have dreams.  Reach as high as you can.  Stretch right out of your comfort zone.  Remember that achieving those things will never make you as happy as the struggle to achieve them.  Put another way, it’s the journey and not the destination.  Moments in time, being with loved ones, trying your best, believing in yourself.  Those are the things that will bring happiness.  Lasting happiness.  The kind of happiness you deserve.

Be gentle with yourself.

– Cat

Forgive Me… I’m Trying to Forgive You

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

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One of my favorite quotes is:

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself”

When I was checking on the source for this quote, it looks like Suzanne Somers gets the most votes.  We had Tony Robbins in the mix, along with TD Jakes.  Well, it deserves deep consideration, no matter who authored it.

I’ve held a grudge.  I’ve fed it and nurtured it.  I’ve felt the burn. The person holding the grudge will always feel worse than the target of the anger and resentment.  If you are stubborn and slow to forgive, it will always hurt you more than anyone else.

I know it takes so much effort to forgive immediately and with sincerity, but the pay off is huge!

While we’re on the topic of forgiving, it’s okay to hold yourself to a high standard of ethics or morality.  But, we are human, and sometimes we hurt other people, even if we don’t mean to.  Be quick to forgive yourself in the midst of your guilt trip.

The usual form of an apology is:  “I’m sorry that I got angry, BUT….”  Make your statement and then stop.  Don’t qualify your feelings and take the argument to the next level.  If you have a fight with a friend, both parties should apologize.  That’s what friends do.  It’s called making up.

Resolving a rift between friends can put you right on the mountaintop.  It feels blissful to bring restoration to a broken relationship.  You’ll be wondering why you waited so long!

Just a word of caution.  Remember, that while your feelings of forgiveness towards someone may feel right to you, they may take time to bring a resolution.  Your words and gestures of apology may not be returned right away, if at all.  Forgive anyway. You can only control your side of the equation.  This is something that we must learn from.  It’s part of life.  This is what it means to be accountable; to accept the consequences of your actions.

Who can you forgive today?  Give yourself a gift and get started.

– Cat

Reinventing Ourselves

/ Cat Harvey / Leave a comment

I once had a friend that was a widow with two daughters, two stepdaughters, and a strong resolve not to get entangled in any romantic situations. She was “pretty plus” like myself.  She had a beautiful smile and was fun to be with.   She moved away, her daughters and stepdaughters grew up, and we fell out of touch.

I ran into a mutual friend of ours, who told me that the last time they saw her, she was wearing a size 1, and had gone off to live on an island with someone named Ben.  It amazes me to think that she had a whole other life to live.  It never occurred to me that she could be completely different from the person that  I knew all that time.

Motivational speakers will insist that you can steer the course of your life, and begin anew with the promise of each day.  I have heard Deepak Chopra assert that you can actually change the past through meditation and determination. These ideas seem fantastic, when most of us feel stuck in the proverbial rut.

So, without launching a discussion on quantum physics (we will save that for another time) Do we actually have the ability to reinvent ourselves?

-Cat